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Fri, Oct. 14th, 2005, 10:55 am

[private]

Sam's post really pissed me off, but I made nice.

I try. It has been pointed out to me by many people over the years that my greatest fault is always putting myself first. Well, no shit. I do that as I learned a long time ago no one else will watch out for me, cover my back. But I now realize that fault and try to act accordingly. I really try my damnedest to live a good life, keep out of other people's business and make this world a better place.

But I unintentionally fuck up occasionally; when I do, I always manage to do it in some massive way that affects other people's lives.

I didn't mean to get embroiled in this whole CJ angst-fest. I was trying to do my job, CJ wasn't doing hers and I was only trying to find out why that was. But somehow I started rumors which caused many bad feelings to happen, or perhaps they were already there and my actions caused them to surface.

I don't know why that is. Nor do I understand why Sam felt the need to chastise me along with the others, as I've never really been part of that circle.

I don't just don't get it.

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